Kind Vs Fake

In my 20s and30s, I was known for "keeping it real." In many situations, this meant that I was rude, selfish, and mean-spirited. I said whatever popped into my head and had little concern for how it made anyone feel. Actually, in many cases, I wanted to hurt people but hid it under the notion that I was telling the truth. I've carried on this behavior well into my late 40s, realizing it was mean but still allowing it to be viewed as realness. Since the beginning of this Lent, I have seen it differently and desire to live differently.

Last night, I came home from work, and a friend texted me who was suffering because he fasted. He acknowledged that the pain in his head got bad enough that he had to take aspirin, and I could tell that he felt this was a weakness on his part. Instead of reassuring him, I said nothing, but as I prayed, I thought I should go have a bite to eat with him even though I wasn't really hungry, not for my own sake but for his sake. I hesitated because, in my head, I thought I was not hungry and that going to eat with him would not be "keeping it real." Then I remembered a story about St. Francis of Assisi.

One of his followers was fasting and was suffering terribly because of it. In the middle of the night, he had all of his followers get up and have a meal with this young man so that he wouldn't be ashamed of needing to eat. Saint Francis didn't need to get up and eat, but he did this because he knew it would make the other guy feel better. He wasn't being fake but doing what was kind.

This evening, my housemate sent me a text letting me know he would be home late because he was going for a swim. It's the kind of text I would usually ignore or just say OK, but I thought it would be better to say, "I hope you enjoy your swim. "I don't really care about his swim, but I recognize that the nice thing to do is to show interest in his life as he does in mine. Briefly, the thought occurred to me that this was fake, but again, I realized there is a difference between being fake and being kind.

I love Brian as a brother, just as I love my mother and my other friends. Doing something for them that I don't necessarily want to do but do because I know it will make them feel good is not fake. I lived a selfish, self-centered life until I moved in with Brian, and it has taken living with him to help me see that keeping it real is often just a cover for selfishness and being harsh and rude.

Lord Jesus, help me be better.

Written 2/18/21 AD

Human-written, AI spell-checked

Image from howitworksdaily.com